The New 007

The New 007

Trump, Donald Trump

So apparently, the new Republican line is that Donald Trump wasn’t just rubbing shoulders with Jeffrey Epstein, he was actually some kind of secret FBI informant bravely trying to “take him down.”

“What Trump is referring to is the hoax that the Democrats are using to try to attack him. I’ve talked to him about this many times, many times. He is horrified. It’s been misrepresented. He’s not saying that what Epstein did is a hoax. It’s a terrible, unspeakable evil. He believes that himself.”

“When he first heard the rumor, he kicked him out of Mar-a-Lago. He was an FBI informant to try to take this stuff down. The president knows — and has great sympathy for the women who suffered these unspeakable harms. It’s detestable to him.”-Mike Johnson September 4th, 2025

At least, that’s what House Speaker Mike Johnson said out loud today, as if that’s supposed to settle the matter. According to Johnson, Trump was “horrified” by Epstein’s behavior, even kicked him out of Mar-a-Lago, and worked with the FBI in some shadow crusade to bring Epstein down.

That’s a neat little story.

The problem is, there’s no evidence for it. Not a shred.

No FBI documents, no DOJ confirmation, nothing but Johnson’s word. Which, if you’ve been paying attention, is worth less than a used car salesman’s handshake. This isn’t about uncovering some hidden truth, it’s an attempt at rebranding, and seems awfully desperate.

It’s about taking one of the most glaring stains on Trump’s history (his longtime friendship with Epstein) and laundering it into a hero narrative.

If this fairytale were true though, if Trump really was an FBI informant, then his whole political brand collapses under its own weight.

Remember that he’s the ultimate outsider, the guy who was going to “drain the swamp,” the enemy of the “deep state.” But if he was actually embedded with federal law enforcement, feeding them information, then guess what?

He was the swamp. He was the “deep state.”

The entire MAGA mythology goes up in smoke.

Let’s also not address how someone usually becomes an informant, through being busted and having that used as leverage against them to turn on others higher up than them in the crime ring.

Of course, none of this is real.

This is a cover story slapped together in desperation. They know Epstein’s name isn’t going away, and they know Trump’s photo album of smiles with Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, video footage, and love notes are already haunting him.

So rather than addressing it honestly, they invent a narrative that he was only there to infiltrate.

He was undercover.

He was the good guy all along.

Right. And Bill Clinton was just on Epstein’s plane because of how philanthropic he feels for African kids.

The funniest part of Johnson’s little fairy tale is the image of Trump being “horrified” by Epstein, or “sympathetic” towards the victims.

Horrified? Sympathetic?

This is the same Trump who was filmed laughing and pointing at women with Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, the same Trump who admitted Epstein “likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them on the younger side.” The same Trump who has been caught verbally and on camera being inappropriate with his own daughter.

This shows just how shameless American politics has become. The truth doesn’t matter. Consistency doesn’t matter.

If your side gets caught dirty, you just spin a new reality where the dirt makes you a hero. The scary part is, a lot of people will believe it. Because we’ve reached the point where politics isn’t about facts, it’s about stories.

And as long as the story flatters your team, you’ll swallow it whole.

Democrats play the same game.

Epstein’s client list is bipartisan, his connections stretch across Wall Street, academia, Silicon Valley, Buckingham Palace…

Both Republicans and Democrats have every incentive to obfuscate the facts, to make sure that the story never gets too close to pinning the people who they know are guilty as hell, but too financially valuable to them.

That’s why every time Epstein’s name comes up, it gets deflected, reframed, or buried under a new narratives.

The system protects its own, no matter what side of the aisle they sit on. Because if the truth ever really came out, if we actually got to see who Epstein was running favors for, half the ruling class would be dragged down with him.