Sin and the Crucifixion

Sin and the Crucifixion

Explanation of Christianity to someone who’s never heard of it.

So you’ve never heard of Jesus or Christianity? Well, it’s pretty simple really, but we have to give you some history first to fully grasp it.

Ok so in the beginning this all powerful all knowing being, that can’t make mistakes, made man and woman in this garden. But he also left this really evil being there that shapeshifted into a snake and tricked the woman into eating this fruit that God had left there that would make them open their eyes to reality and know good and evil. But God didn’t want them to eat it…but he left it there anyways…maybe to tempt them as a test to see if they really loved him? He works in mysterious ways!

Also not sure why he left the snake there…but anyways then he cast them out of the garden because they fucked up, and cursed all of their children for eternity with the original sin. Then if we skip ahead aways God gets so pissed off at how they’re acting that he floods the entire planet killing everyone, women, children, infants, and animals of all kinds. Except for this one family that then I guess have a lot of inbred kids, but somehow manage to repopulate the world into all the various races….

So during all of this time, he keeps commanding humans to sacrifice animals for their sins because he really loves blood and somehow that makes him forget about his creations breaking the rules he made.

Ultimately though for God to allow himself to forgive mankind for committing sins that he made, he decides to impregnate a 12-year-old girl with himself so that she can give birth to him as a human. Then he ultimately sacrifices himself to himself to forgive his creation for the sins he created that they have or haven’t committed yet, so that he doesn’t have to send them to hell that he made for them, because he loves them so much…

I know, I know, you may be thinking that an all-powerful God wouldn’t have to jump through so many hoops just to abide by the rules he set up in the first place, but that’s blasphemous to think about.

So you better stop thinking too hard about it or he may send you to burn for all of eternity, since he loves you so much.

I mean I don’t see why you find this so hard to believe?