As Christians, the Bible directs us to basically try to mirror our relationship with God in our relationships with each other.
John 13:34–35
1 John 4:11–12
Colossians 3:12–14
This sounds like a great concept until you realize the relationship that Christianity truly promotes between us and God.
It has all of the characteristics of a highly abusive and controlling relationship.
Why have the double standard?
There does seem to be a direct link between those who are highly religious and the duration that people are willing to stay in an abusive relationship. This is likely due to factors like “traditional gender roles”, “Wives obey your husband” etc., and the emphasis Christianity puts on forgiveness and the permanence of marriage.
Let’s take a look at some common talking points of abusers and their analogs in the Bible.
“You’re nothing without me.”
John 15:5
Philippians 4:13
Acts 17:28
Colossians 1:17
“You aren’t worthy of my love.”
Romans 3:23–24
Ephesians 2:8–9
Isaiah 64:6
Titus 3:5
“You need me to be whole.”
Colossians 2:9–10
Philippians 4:19
Psalm 23:1–3
John 6:35
2 Corinthians 12:9–10
“Only I can save you, you need me.”
Isaiah 45:22
Acts 4:12
John 14:6
Isaiah 43:11
Hosea 13:4
“Only I know what you need.”
Matthew 6:8
Philippians 4:19
Psalm 139:1–4
Jeremiah 29:11
“Look what you made me do.”
Genesis 6:5–7
Numbers 16:32–35
Deuteronomy 9:7–8
Psalm 78:31
Jeremiah 7:20
Romans 1:18
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