Absurdities From The Bible #3
More “Words of the Lord”
Absurdities From The Bible #3
More “Words of the Lord”
19 And the Lord was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.-Judges 1:19 KJV
We never knew what God’s weakness was, but here we have it! Isn’t iron used against other supernatural spirits as well in superstitious beliefs?
18 And the children of Israel arose, and went up to the house of God, and asked counsel of God, and said, Which of us shall go up first to the battle against the children of Benjamin? And the Lord said, Judah shall go up first.
19 And the children of Israel rose up in the morning, and encamped against Gibeah.
20 And the men of Israel went out to battle against Benjamin; and the men of Israel put themselves in array to fight against them at Gibeah.
21 And the children of Benjamin came forth out of Gibeah, and destroyed down to the ground of the Israelites that day twenty and two thousand men.
22 And the people the men of Israel encouraged themselves, and set their battle again in array in the place where they put themselves in array the first day.
23 (And the children of Israel went up and wept before the Lord until even, and asked counsel of the Lord, saying, Shall I go up again to battle against the children of Benjamin my brother? And the Lord said, Go up against him.)
24 And the children of Israel came near against the children of Benjamin the second day.
25 And Benjamin went forth against them out of Gibeah the second day, and destroyed down to the ground of the children of Israel again eighteen thousand men; all these drew the sword.-Judges 20:18–25 KJV
The Israelites ask God what they should do, he first leads them into battle getting 22,000 killed then says sure do it again, and they lose another 18,000. Perhaps the children of Benjamin had iron chariots and weapons?
Often times in these Old Testament verses this “God” gives off the impression of being some type of trickster, rather than the supreme perfect entity that we are led to believe.
I mean he’s down here on a battlefield giving bad advice to his chosen people, getting them wholesale slaughtered.
That doesn’t come across as the creator of all things, who “loves all of his children”.
18 No man hath seen God at any time, the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.-John 1:18 KJV
2 That the Lord appeared to Solomon the second time, as he had appeared unto him at Gibeon.
3 And the Lord said unto him, I have heard thy prayer and thy supplication, that thou hast made before me: I have hallowed this house, which thou hast built, to put my name there for ever; and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually.-1 Kings 9:2–3 KJV
Bit of a contradiction here, but as we’ve seen in other verses such as my last article where God was going to snuff out Moses, or in the Garden of Eden as another example. God definitely appears before people directly in the Bible, even though it states otherwise.
Unless we are to suspect that this isn’t the same God that the New Testament talks about?
14 And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.-Genesis 3:14–15 KJV
Now this one should be familiar to most people even slightly familiar with the Bible. This is the punishment that the serpent gets from God due to tricking Eve into eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge.
So if we go with what the church tells us then this serpent is the Devil and him receiving a punishment for his actions makes sense. But the thing is the Bible never says that this is the Devil.
In addition to that causing the serpent to not have legs, and cursing his offspring to be eternal enemies with mankind’s offspring goes against other verses of the Bible saying that the son will not be responsible for the sin of the father and vise versa.
Deuteronomy 24:16
16 The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, neither shall the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put to death for his own sin.
In addition, for Biblical literalists….the Devil isn’t a snake, and why would every species of snake on Earth be cursed for something that a fallen angelic being did? The angelic being likely had shape-shifted for a period of time to somehow be more convincing to a naïve human. Also, why would an omniscient God allow this all to take place?
11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.
12 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.-Genesis 6:11–13 KJV
Somehow this omniscient, omnipotent being created a world that is full of corruption, and it pisses him off.
The world is so full of corruption and violence, that God decides to commit the ultimate act of violence, a mass eradication of almost all life on Earth, to stop the violence. Makes sense right?
18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.
20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.-Genesis 2:18–23
Somehow while I was still in church I missed this bit. Note that God realizes man is lonely, so he creates and parades billions of species of animals in front of Adam getting him to name them and to see if any of them would make a good “help meet” for him, a mate….then when Adam doesn’t want to “get down” with any of these animals God creates woman from his rib.
I gotta say, the Quran and the older Sumerian story make more sense here, that man and woman were both made from the soil at the same time, and also those stories don’t go so close to having Adam bang a sheep.
12 When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
13 And Cain said unto the Lord, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
14 Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
15 And the Lord said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.
16 And Cain went out from the presence of the Lord, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.
17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.-Genesis 4:12–17 KJV
So in Genesis Adam and Eve have two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain ends up killing Abel because God keeps favoring Abel and turns them against each other. After Cain commits the first murder ever God curses him and exiles him. Cain is somehow scared that anyone who he runs across will kill him…so I guess his mom and dad since they’re the only other two humans on Earth at this time according to the Bible?
So God gives him some kind of mark to protect him, and then Cain leaves and somehow finds a wife and makes a bunch of kids and a whole city… The Bible never says who his wife is, or how he was able to build a city.
But there you have it!
I would love to hear an explanation from Biblical literalists about any of these!